Darkroom

A dimly lit or pitch-dark room in a gay bar, club or sauna set aside for sex, where touch does the talking and names are optional.

A darkroom is a dimly lit or completely dark space in a gay bar, club or sauna set aside for sex. You walk in, your eyes adjust or they don't, and hands do the talking. Some are a single black room, some are a maze of corridors, cubicles, slings and glory holes; all of them work on the same promise: what happens in the dark stays there.

It is not a place for a date. Nobody asks your name, few people say much at all, and a gentle hand pushed away means no. It is the indoor heir of the park at night and the cottage, with a bar outside and a cloakroom for your jacket.

Darkroom or backroom

The two words mean almost the same thing. Backroom is the older and more American, and puts the stress on where the room is: behind the bar, past the toilets, through the curtain. Darkroom puts the stress on the lighting, and it is the word you hear most in Europe, where many gay bars in cities like Berlin, Amsterdam or Madrid have one. An early gay slang glossary already defined the backroom as "a dark room in clubs or bars designated for sex", so on paper the two have always overlapped.

How it works

Darkrooms have an etiquette, and regulars learn it fast:

• Touch is the question: a hand that stays is a yes, a hand moved away is a no, and no means no in the dark too.
• Watching is allowed, joining in needs an invitation.
• Phones stay in your pocket, and so does the flashlight.
• Condoms and lube are often in bowls at the entrance; many men there are on PrEP, which protects against HIV but not against other STIs.

Close relatives

A darkroom in a bar is a smaller cousin of the bathhouse, where the whole building works that way. At a leather bar the darkroom may come with a dress code, and at a circuit party it may be the only quiet place in the building.

Related terms