Bottom

The receptive partner in anal sex between men, the one who gets fucked; as a label, a man who prefers or sticks to that role.

A bottom is the man who gets fucked: in anal sex, the receptive partner, the one who takes his partner's cock. As a label, "bottom" says that this is what a man prefers or always does. The opposite is top, and a man who enjoys both is vers.

Bottoming is a skill as much as a preference. It takes relaxation, trust, some preparation and, done well, it is one of the great pleasures gay men have, thanks largely to the prostate. The old idea that the bottom is the "passive" or "feminine" one is mostly nonsense, and gay slang itself proves it with words like power bottom and bossy bottom.

Where it comes from

Bottom is the mirror of top: the image is the man underneath. As a sexual label it appears in the early 1970s in the language of S&M and of lesbian couples, for the passive or submissive partner. Gay men had bottom boy, "anal receptor", in a glossary of gay speech by 1976, and bottom man, "passive partner in anal intercourse, as opposed to top man", by 1988. The verb came with it: to bottom is to take the receptive role.

Variants and relatives

• Total bottom or "100% bottom": never tops.
• Power bottom: a bottom who sets the pace and does most of the work.
• Bossy bottom: a bottom who gives the orders, from position to speed.
• Pillow princess: a bottom who lies back and lets the top do everything.
• Vers bottom: mostly bottoms, tops now and then.

Bottoms have also been the target of a lot of mockery, inside the community too. "Bottom shaming", joking that bottoms are weaker, sluttier or less manly, is as old as the words themselves, and many younger gay men now push back hard on it. Being a bottom says nothing about how masculine, strong or dominant a man is.

The health side

Receptive anal sex is the riskiest sexual act for HIV. The CDC estimates the risk of getting HIV from a single act of receptive anal sex with a partner who has HIV and is not on treatment at about 138 in 10,000, more than ten times the risk for the top. That risk drops dramatically with protection: daily PrEP is about 99% effective among men who have sex with men when taken consistently, and a partner on treatment with an undetectable viral load does not pass HIV on through sex. Condoms protect against HIV and some other infections too.

Bottoms should also test regularly for gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis, including rectal swabs, since rectal infections often have no symptoms. For PrEP, U=U and douching, see those entries, and for pain, bleeding or anything that does not feel right, see a doctor or a sexual health clinic.

Related terms