Prepping

Everything a bottom does to get ready for anal sex: eating light, fiber, douching, showering and a warm-up; not to be confused with PrEP.

Prepping is everything a bottom does to get ready for anal sex: eating light, taking fiber, douching, showering, trimming, sometimes a warm-up with fingers or a toy. When a guy says "I need an hour to prep", this is what he means, and it is why bottoms rarely say yes to a hookup in the next five minutes.

It is not the same as PrEP, the HIV prevention pill, although on the apps the two get mixed up all the time, and "prepped" can mean either "on PrEP" or "douched and ready". Context, and capital letters, usually tell you which.

What it involves

• Food. Many bottoms eat lighter and avoid their personal trigger foods before sex, and a high-fiber diet with regular bowel movements does a lot of the work on its own.
• Douching. Plain lukewarm water, a small amount, low pressure, one or two rinses, then 30 to 60 minutes for the last water to drain.
• Warming up. A lubed finger or a toy similar in size to the top: it relaxes the muscles, and if it comes out clean, you're ready.
• Grooming. A shower, maybe a trim. Strictly optional, entirely up to taste.

Why it matters

Prepping is the invisible labor of gay sex. Tops rarely think about it; bottoms think about it all the time. A lot of gay humor is built on it, from the bottom who cancels because he ate Mexican to the top who arrives early and has to wait in the living room. Talking about it openly is a small sign of respect: a top who says "take your time" earns points.

The health side

There is no medically established number of safe douches per week, and doctors advise keeping it gentle and taking a break if the area gets irritated. Overdoing it can damage the lining of the rectum, and some research links frequent douching to higher rates of HIV and other STIs. Prepping is also a good moment to think about the other kind of prep: PrEP, condoms and regular testing. Pain, bleeding or changes that don't go away are a reason to see a doctor.

Close relatives

• Douching: the rinsing part of prepping.
• Poppers: the little bottle some bottoms keep next to the lube.
• Power bottom: a man who has turned prepping into a science.

Related terms