Flip-flop

When two men take turns topping and bottoming in the same session: first one fucks, then the other.

To flip-flop is to take turns: he tops you, then you top him, in the same session. A flip-flop is also the word for the act itself, and, now and then, for a man who does it. It is the most democratic arrangement in gay sex, two vers guys making sure nobody leaves without having had both halves of the fun.

It is not the same thing as being versatile. Vers describes who you are, flip-flop describes what happens on one particular night. Plenty of vers men never flip in a single session, and plenty of men who usually stick to one role will happily flip with the right partner.

Where it comes from

The word is ordinary English for a somersault or a sudden reversal, and the sexual sense simply turns that image round. Green's Dictionary of Slang finds it in Texas folklore notes from the early 1970s, where a flip-flop is "a homosexual who plays both male and female roles," and a shorter form, flippy, appeared alongside it. The old talk of male and female roles has aged badly, but the word has not: today it simply means swapping who fucks whom.

How it is used today

On the apps it is shorthand for an offer. "Into flip-flop" in a profile, or "flip?" in a chat, tells the other man you want to give and get. It saves a lot of negotiation, and avoids the classic deadlock of two bottoms politely waiting for the other one to make a move.

In porn, flip-flop is its own category and a popular one. A flip-flop scene promises that both performers will top and both will bottom, which neatly doubles the money shots and gives fans of each performer something to watch. Studios put it in the title because viewers search for it.

Close relatives

• Vers or versatile: someone who enjoys both roles, not necessarily on the same night.
• Side: a man who prefers not to do anal at all, so flip-flopping is off the menu.
• Top and bottom: the two halves that a flip-flop puts together.

Related terms