Power bottom

A bottom who takes charge: he receives, but sets the pace, picks the position and often does most of the work.

A power bottom is a bottom who takes charge. He is on the receiving end, but he sets the pace, picks the position, rides rather than waits, and often does most of the work while the top just tries to keep up. The sex therapist Joe Kort sums him up as "someone who knows what he wants and takes control of the penetration".

The word exists to smash an old idea: that the man who gets fucked is the passive, submissive, "lesser" partner. A power bottom is proof that receiving is not the same as surrendering. Plenty of power bottoms are big, loud, dominant men, and plenty of tops are happy to lie back and let them.

Where it comes from

Nobody has pinned down the first use. Kort has said the term grew up in the gay male community sometime in the 1990s, but writers who went looking for an early printed example could not find one. Today it is one of the best known role words we have, and queer women and trans people use it too, often with a definition that has nothing to do with penetration.

It belongs to a family of words that split the big labels into finer ones: service top for the top who serves, bossy bottom for the bottom who gives orders, pillow princess for the one who lies back and receives.

Power bottom or bossy bottom

The two often get mixed up. A power bottom leads with his body: energy, stamina, control of the rhythm. A bossy bottom leads with his mouth: "slower", "harder", "left a bit", "no, the other left". Many men are both, and the best ones manage it without making the top feel like a piece of gym equipment.

In porn and memes

Porn loves the power bottom, often in riding scenes where the bottom clearly runs things. Online, "power bottom" has also become a joke label for anything forceful that is technically on the receiving end, from cats to celebrities to a storm. The joke works because everybody now understands the idea: you can take it and still be in charge.

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